One thing you ought to know to know about me is that life is
hard. Always feeling as if you are being pulled round and round in all
different directions. You want to do one thing but then again you feel that you
should be doing something else instead. It is hard trying to find out what you
are supposed to do in life when you feel like you are partly running away from
yourself and whatever is trying to stop you from doing what you should do.
That is how I felt on that one cold December day. I see what
I want to do; I can close my eyes and picture how I want to end up 10 years in
the future. I can see myself helping others and doing what I feel called to do
by God. But I am eager to get there yet at the same time I keep running into
road blocks. Those blocks are mostly myself. It is hard to explain, but I often
feel as if I am battling with myself on the inside. I have always felt like
there are two of me. Anxiety is one part, often telling me to run, to get away
and not come back. Anxiety wants me to give up and live in a hole.
I on the other hand want to work towards my goal and to help
people. But anxiety is always there; like the rebel twin sister who doesn’t
want to as told. I am an INFJ Personality type. It is hard being like that, but
that is who I am. And I have to learn to live with it.
Welcome to my journey, it all begins here. Waiting to move
to start my journey to find myself in the darkness and light. My journey on becoming
a counselor and me.
